Red Sam

Great song! I listen to it turned all the way up...I just like it 'cause its called 'Red Sam' and thats all me. Iconator.com >> Icons >> Other >> Red Sam - Flyleaf

Never underestimate

The first step to every journey feels like a leap. Only because its unknown, I wish we could fast forward a little and see that everything works out. That would save people a lot of stress and worry. On the other hand, I don't think people would pray as much. They already have a problem with that as it is. Prayer is all that we can truly rely on to get us through those unknown leaps. Its a leap of faith for a reason. The doubts we have and that voice in your head that says "what if" and "what are you thinking" those are just words. Thats not something we can put any stock into, its pointless. We can take leaps of faith and they will work out. Here's the thing though, if you take a leap of faith and it doesn't work out. You still took a leap and there are still people who think you're awesome and can do anything. A lot of people never take that leap. What if you don't take a chance, you never experience the full life you could've had. Stress is normal, doubt is the devil.

Now to take my own advice. Sigh.

1...2...3...GO!

The House That Built Me...if you haven't heard it, find it, listen to it! The first time I heard that song I must admit I got a little teary eyed. As my parents and I, along with my grandpa, redo a new house in Columbus, Ga I have a mixture of feelings. Not only is my family moving out of the only house I ever grew up in but I am moving from Statesboro (where I've been for almost 4 years) to be with them.

Yeah it will be great to be with my family and not worry so much about money for rent and school. What is getting to me is that I'm leaving some of the greatest people four hours away. All of my friends minus a very few are in Statesboro. I know nobody in Columbus/Pine Mountain. Scary! Its okay I know I'll make friends, I'm good at that, I mean come on, I'm funny and awesome! So its bitter sweet, it'll be an adventure, and I'll get to be there while Toby and Jay grow up. It's going to be great!

I have to keep telling myself that. I just moved the last of my stuff out and handed over the keys to my house in Statesboro. It has been told to me several times that I will visit often. Trust me I will! In the beginning it will be weird though. I'm ready for that. What I'm not ready for is to move all that stuff that I took from Statesboro to Pine Mountain and not to North Augusta. I have lived there my entire life. I don't really like the idea of the boys having such a totally different childhood then Stephanie and I had. They won't go to the schools we both grew up at, or the same church. Its all very weird.

Thats why that song upset me. All the memories I have basically are of that house or of Augusta in general. I did my homework there, hit my sister in the eye with a wooden block in that living room. I watched them turn our back porch into an office for my dad and remember when his business was too big and they built a place further out for him. Now I'm just rambling. So...

With change comes growth and now I'll have new memories in a new house. I'll do my homework there too, maybe I can even talk Stephanie into letting me hit her again. I'll make different friends, not new ones to replace the old ones, thats not possible. Just different ones. Who knows they might even be better then the friends I have now. Shh don't tell them I said that. I really am excited, and nervous. I just want all of the back and forth to be over so my emotion and my brain can relax and settle somewhere.

Lacking isn't something I want to do

Just a short note on my priorities not feeling straight in my head.

I have this friend that is a better friend then anyone deserves. Isn't that what we all want? Friends that we trust and can talk to, that make us laugh and we can be our complete fool selves. Thats what I want. Just good friends. We want that, its hard to come by. Its hard because, though thats what we want, thats not what we are. I sit here and think I have great friends that would basically do anything for me without much question. Am I that kind of friend? I know I want to be, more then anything and I hope that I am. Deep down though I know I'm not. I take more then I give. I ask more then I answer. We are all guilty of it. Nobody can be perfect all the time, but some people really try. I do. It never works though.

I'd do anything for my friends, really I would. If somebody called me on the East coast and said they needed me to pick them up from New Mexico, all I'd say would be, "Can I sleep fast before I leave?". I feel like I try to be a great perfect friend, but its not good enough, or I just can't stay focused on that. So I let the people I care about the most down. I hate that more than anything else ever. Again I'll try and maybe this time I'll do better, remind myself more. Even if that does not work, I'll keep trying.

Just venting or rambling. Not sure which. Had to get that out of my head though and this is the best way I know. To those I feel I let down. I'm sorry. More sorry then you could imagine. Next time I do this how about just slap me in the face with my own words. It won't change my apologies but I will try more and do better. I promise, forever, even when I'm not a really great friend, I'll be there, trying, always.

A Few of The Rules I Like To Live By

1. Never make a threat you don't intend to carry out.

2. Never say always, unless you mean, forever no matter what, always.

3. Choose your battles wisely, never fight unless you can win, or at least prove a point.

4. Learn to compromise when its needed.

5. Don't, under any circumstances doubt the trust you have in people who have never given you a reason not to trust them.

6. Its not always good to think before you speak, but be wise to your words and stand by what you say.

7. Never take things for granted, not even the small things. "Don't cry because its over, smile because it happened."

8. Never give up, never surrender. Push through the tough times you face, you'll be stronger in the end for it.

9. Don't let anyone push you around. Stand up for yourself.

10. Be an honest and loyal friend only to those that are worthy.

11. Do your best or do nothing.

12. Never put all your eggs in one basket.

13. No cutting, there are no shortcuts in life, if you find one and take it, its the lazy way and you won't get the full reward.

14. Always remember there is safety in numbers, don't rely only on yourself all the time; two heads are better than one, you can always use another set of eyes, and being a self righteous loner can get ugly and lonely.

15. Trust God's word, it will never lead you down the wrong path.

When We Took God Out...Where'd We Put Him?

Elementary/Middle School Killings

1927 – Bath, Michigan – Deadliest school-related killing in U.S. history/"the worst act of terrorism in the U.S. until the Oklahoma City bombing"

1979 – San Diego, California

1983 – St. Louis, Missouri

1988 – Winnetka, Illinois

1988 – Greenwood, South Carolina

2006 – Lancaster County, Pennsylvania


High School/College Killings

1966 – Austin, Texas – Second deadliest shooting on a college campus

1974 – Olean, New York

1982 – Hot Springs, Arkansas

1983 – Ithaca, New York

1985 – Kansas

1987 – Missouri

1991 – Iowa City, Iowa

1992 – Olivehurst, California

1992 – Great Barrington, Massachusetts

1993 – Grayson, Kentucky

1995 – Lynnville, Tennessee

1996 – Moses Lake, Washington

1996 – University Park, Pennsylvania

1996 – West Lafayette, Indiana

1997 – Bethel, Alaska

1997 – Pearl, Mississippi

1997 – West Paducah, Kentucky

1998 – Jonesboro, Arkansas

1998 – Edinboro, Pennsylvania

1998 – Springfield, Oregon

1999 – Littleton, Colorado

2001 – Santee, California

2002 – Grundy, Virginia

2002 – Tucson, Arizona

2003 – New Orleans, Louisiana

2003 – Red Lion, Pennsylvania

2003 – Cleveland, Ohio

2003 – Cold Spring, Minnesota

2004 – Washington, D.C.

2004 – Palmetto Bay, Florida

2005 – Red Lake, Minnesota

2005 – Jacksboro, Tennessee

2006 – Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

2006 – Bailey, Colorado

2007 – Los Angeles County, California

2007 – Midland, Michigan

2007 – Blacksburg, Virginia – Deadliest shooting on a college campus/Second deadliest school-related killing in U.S. history

2008 - Dekalb, Illinois





This is a list of "top" school related killings (top, meaning most severe). Not a list of tragedies in the United States, not a list of shootings in the United States. Do you see how long this list is? Too long. This isn't even half of the horrific things that have happened in the U.S. or even close to a fourth of the things that have occurred in the world. Look at this list, the first school killing occurred in 1927, the next school killing didn't occur until 1966, almost forty years later, then again five years later in 1974 and so on. Since then, increasingly, what has now become almost every year, there have been multiple school-related killings.



There are forty-five schools on this list and twenty-three years, thats roughly 2 schools a year since 1927.



The majority of these killings occurred after 1995. Some of you may be wondering what happened that year that seems to mark somewhat of a turning point in American history. That year, in 1995, is the year the supreme court ruled to "take God out of schools". I'm not saying this was the cause of rise in school-related killings, just a coincidence.



As the number of killings increase we need to pray. Pray for God to move and work in our nation. Pray for the families of those who are killed and those who kill. Originally when I wrote this the day was April twentieth, two-thousand and seven. The day that marked the eighth anniversary of the tragic events of Columbine High School, just four days after the even greater tragedy of Virginia Tech. Both of these events have been engraved in our history and our minds forever. We may not be able to stop these things from happening but we should be able to support the people they happen to and pray that it ends. If you are not a person of prayer then I ask that you just remember the people effected by these events, so their lives may not have been altered or ended in vain. Also, stop and ask yourself a serious question, "what is this world coming to?"



"Without suffering there would be no compassion."

Blut Ist Dicker Als Wasser

Blood is thicker than water. It was originally German but along with everything else, America has taken it and made it their own. It still has the same basic meaning but over the years its umbrella has broadened and it has become about more than just family but the closest of friends that one has.

Blood, sweat, and tears go into every relationship that is really worth having. Without those things there is really no emotion, no attachment. Its a superficial relationship otherwise, no depth, no real conversation. You're limited to the topics of weather, music, and most often the classes you happen to be taking that week. You have those awkward pity laughs and the lull in conversations where someone sighs and stares down as they swish liquid around in their cup just before looking up with that "this is uncomfortable" grin. Why have a relationship that is forced? Whats the point? There can't be one, at least I can not think of the benefit of it. You have your friends that you have fun with and you have your friends that know about your life and you have fun with. There are always maybe a handful of people that are more than that though, the people that see you through all of it, the blood, the sweat, the tears, they're there through it all. Its not the people you share a cup of coffee with cause you happen to see them in the line at starbucks, or the people you make meaningless babble with at the soda machine. Its the people that see you cry while you're crying, not after when your eyes are red. Its the people that sit on the floor and cry with you, not the people that tell you you've done something wrong and ignore the fact that your heart is breaking. Its the people who give you a band-aid and peroxide when you cut your leg shaving. Some may say that your family are the only people you can constantly rely on and trust. In some cases wouldn't we rather make our own family. Its not about who is obligated to stick around or be by your side, its about the people that don't have to be but are anyways. Loyalty, trust, faith, ...did I mention trust, and blood, sweat, and tears. Its about the things we go through and the people that are not only there at the end of it but the people that you see beside you through it all. Blood is thicker than water, you can't share a lunch hour with someone and expect much or call them your best friend, you must share your life with them, trials and tribulations, random banter about nothing to just pass the time and unwind.

This I'm sure has proved to be nothing more than babel to most of you. But I needed to write it, I needed to at least try and explain my feelings on the subject of loyalty and the levels of friendship and relationships in general.

If by not letting others say things that are in my opinion blasphemous and utter slander about people that have been better friends in a short time and have helped me through more things than I can say most people go through in their lives, you think I'm wrong or stupid or this makes me a bad friend to those who are saying it, disloyal or whatever you choose to believe. Then I'd like to say something to you, blood is thicker than water, and I'd like to think my parents did a great job raising me to be the best person I could be and you should really rethink your loyalties if you will sit by and let someone talk about somebody that has been nothing but loyal to you. Even if the person hasn't been anything but loyal, you are no better than the person telling these blasphemous tales. And having a friend like you, thank you, but no thank you. Trust, loyalty, the good and the bad, thats what friends are.

I'm more me now than I have been, I get by with a little help from my friends.

----------------
Now playing: The Beatles - With a Little Help From My Friends
via FoxyTunes